I have no idea what I'm doing.

Friday, 31 March 2017

Honestly, i really don't have a clue what i'm doing right now. It's currently 3:24am as I type this and I should really be sleeping. I can't sleep though, one reason being that I completely screwed up my sleeping schedule again. Another reason is that for the last few days, I've been stressing over college deadlines, and how I'm falling behind on work. I've been stressing over how I'm also falling behind on work standards. I've been thinking about why all my peers got unconditional offers for their first choices for university, but I got rejected from mine. I've been thinking about how other than my few friends from secondary school, I don't have any real friends from college, and I probably won't be keeping in touch with any of them once we leave for uni. I've been helping my mother while she's been back and forth in the hospital. I've been thinking about my future. I feel like I'm not advancing like I should be right now. I know, I'm depressed. 


Some of you might not know this, but I created this blog during a really shitty time in my life as a way to escape from it all. I saw how other bloggers I followed used their platform to record their hardships, letting readers learn from their mistakes by giving them advice on trivial things. It inspired me a lot, and I realized that since I haven't been blogging as often as I'd like, I also haven't been reading many blog posts as I routinely would. I'm not saying that without blogging, i'll get depressed, but rather, blogging is one of the things that lets me get all my feelings out in one post, and allows for me to move on from those sad thoughts and press forward. I guess that's why I'm writing this post now.

I have no idea what I'm doing, but what I do want to do right now is write a list of goals that I have for the month of April. Not anything major, just small things that I think will help me get back on track. So here it goes; 

 Go to class, seriously, your attendance is atrocious. 
 Complete my Pathway Projects during half term.
 Have a clear plan for my Final Major Project.
 Sort out my UCAS, finance, and firm choice for uni.
 Improve my talk-ups and punctuality at work.
 Write up 5 blog post drafts, post at least 2 of them. 
♡ Get back on track with my life and regain my confidence and self love.

Apologies for not posting as often as before. I'm not going to make any promises on when I'll be back, because I've still got lots of things to sort out in my life. I do however, have some things in mind that I want to write about, so if that ever happens, please look forward to those posts. 

Until then,